if you think first graders are not adorable, I am here to convince you otherwise.
first grade quotes this year:
"Ms. Ray, I just want everyone to be the very best that they can be today."
"Ms. Ray, let me hold your hand so that you don't fall over..." (when i am limping from a bum knee)
"oooooohhhh! a tricky one! give me more tricky ones! tricky, tricky, tricky!"
student: "Ms. Ray, how do you spell love?"
me: "oh. that one is tough. see if you can sound it out."
student: "I'll use the word wall!"
me: (already moved on to next student....)
..five minutes later...
student: "Ms. Ray! I made you a note and a picture!"
me: "Oh! It is says 'I little you Ms. Ray"
(hahaha. at least she knows to use the word wall..too bad love is not on our word wall!)
"I just don't think I can sound out dinosaur"
student: sitting quietly with hand raised and waiting patiently for me to call on him...(VERY out of character for this particular student!)
me: OH MY! I LOVE your quiet hand! Thank you so very much for raising your hand and quietly waiting for me to call on you!
student: I farted.
student: "MS RAY! I HAVE TO Onuk(sp?)"
me: "what?"
student: "I need to onuk"
me: "what is onuk?"
the entire class: HE HAS TO POOP!
(gotta love them knowing a different language than me)
there are also a few handfuls of just devastating quotes from here as well. things that break my heart every time i hear them uttered.
i guess i'll just "love. like. crazy." (thanks, karen, and eric church..or whoever wrote that song!)
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
letting go laughing.
let go laughing. a good friend, Karen proudly posts this on her facebook information. and thank you for that. along with "Love. Like. Crazy." it is silently leading me through my current state in life.
my life currently could be made into a sitcom. one with dry humor, and believable (yet ridiculous) and disheartening moments occurring on cue- every time.
for instance. i trained my butt off for months to run a marathon i was SO excited to do. I paid tons of money to travel a plane ride and 3 hour car ride. rented a car. and stayed in a hotel. and just when i was doing faster than my goal pace and feeling good- my knee gave way to painful tendonitis, and now i could easily pass for a knee replacement candidate when walking my students down the hall. to top it off- my students hold my hand in the hall "so you don't fall over, ms. ray." -thank you first graders, BUT its humiliating enough to have to tell everyone how horrible the race went. you don't have to hold me up too. (it is precious to hold a kids hand every moment of the day).
on friday, just when i realized i had forgotten to put my students papers in their friday folders and i have 15 minutes to do it before they go home a student comes to me because she had "an accident" and needed new pants. AND just when i call her mom, stop her crying, and tell her to let me know when she has to go to the bathroom another first grader runs in yelling, "ms. ray! i need new panties. i had diarrhea in mine!" ...so much for prompt friday folders.
there is really nothing to do in either of these situations but laugh. honestly, its hilarious.
today, when i told my students they had a chance to earn 5 MARBLES! (basically christmas in september) if they could just sit down by the time i count to 9 (basically an eternity to 1st graders)...they didn't sit down. they didn't earn five marbles. BUT, i am cartain if i asked them to run around like a chicken, they would do it.
i wish i could get away with selective hearing like that..too bad i would lose my job.
speaking of my job.
i am supposed to leave on the night flight from kotzebue on oct. 22 because i can't leave inservice early. well, the night flight is full. SO...i deliberately do what i am told not to do...or i cave, and leave the next day. blah.
my first observation from my principal is friday...i'll bet that right as i get going- i'll remember i left my copies for the students on the copier--and i'll have to wing it. maybe she appreciates teachers who are forgetful, and wing it?
i guess the only thing left to do is "let go laughing"
my life currently could be made into a sitcom. one with dry humor, and believable (yet ridiculous) and disheartening moments occurring on cue- every time.
for instance. i trained my butt off for months to run a marathon i was SO excited to do. I paid tons of money to travel a plane ride and 3 hour car ride. rented a car. and stayed in a hotel. and just when i was doing faster than my goal pace and feeling good- my knee gave way to painful tendonitis, and now i could easily pass for a knee replacement candidate when walking my students down the hall. to top it off- my students hold my hand in the hall "so you don't fall over, ms. ray." -thank you first graders, BUT its humiliating enough to have to tell everyone how horrible the race went. you don't have to hold me up too. (it is precious to hold a kids hand every moment of the day).
on friday, just when i realized i had forgotten to put my students papers in their friday folders and i have 15 minutes to do it before they go home a student comes to me because she had "an accident" and needed new pants. AND just when i call her mom, stop her crying, and tell her to let me know when she has to go to the bathroom another first grader runs in yelling, "ms. ray! i need new panties. i had diarrhea in mine!" ...so much for prompt friday folders.
there is really nothing to do in either of these situations but laugh. honestly, its hilarious.
today, when i told my students they had a chance to earn 5 MARBLES! (basically christmas in september) if they could just sit down by the time i count to 9 (basically an eternity to 1st graders)...they didn't sit down. they didn't earn five marbles. BUT, i am cartain if i asked them to run around like a chicken, they would do it.
i wish i could get away with selective hearing like that..too bad i would lose my job.
speaking of my job.
i am supposed to leave on the night flight from kotzebue on oct. 22 because i can't leave inservice early. well, the night flight is full. SO...i deliberately do what i am told not to do...or i cave, and leave the next day. blah.
my first observation from my principal is friday...i'll bet that right as i get going- i'll remember i left my copies for the students on the copier--and i'll have to wing it. maybe she appreciates teachers who are forgetful, and wing it?
i guess the only thing left to do is "let go laughing"
Thursday, September 23, 2010
TORNADO!
That is what I thought after the kids left my classroom today. my classroom had seen its worst today. I find that often there are three parts to a school day. the before lunch chunk. and the after lunch chunk. and the after P.E. chunk (we have P.E. every day). Usually each chunk is given its chance to shine..and its chance to be a smooth running machine. Likewise, each chunk is given its chance to fail miserably. and usually it mostly depends on me: my mood, my attitude, my strength, so on and so forth. Today, i was probably close to 0 for 3. It started out FABULOUSLY. i was hugged. i was greeted with smiles. I mostly had students come in and do what they were supposed to..except the usual 2 or 3 i have to ask like 13 times. Then, it fell to pieces. Some students just know how to push every one of your buttons. and one of my buttons is constant interruptions..and a great big giant button of mine, one that when pushed makes me get an intense tick and scowl, is deliberate disobeying. now, i hate that word. "obey." but i have a few students who dileberately do disobey (for lack of a better term). This classroom for some students is not a "I say jump, you say how high?" kind of classroom. For some it is an "I say jump, you say fuck you" kind of classroom. Well, at least that is what it feels like. And it is never right off the bat. They always sit in their seat, let me get going in the middle of a story (and feel great about my outstanding first graders that are acting like rockstars) and then right at the best part of the story, there are about 2 MAYBE 3 students who stand up and start playing with leggos (or cutting out paper for a future center, or pulling the pieces of the calendar apart...etc). No matter how many times I ask, they pretend they can't hear me. No matter how many methods I try, they only respond momentarily, until I try to teach the whole class again. I have tried be nice, I have tried asking, I have tried explaining the "why" in situations, i have tried applying to our classroom rules, I have tried getting mad, I have tried the "walk a mile in their shoes" method. I have tried to change me and my methods. I hace tried to rearrange seats, and the classroom. I have even called the prinicipal. Some students just must love trying to kill me. That must be the case...right?
Wrong. I know that is wrong. I know I need to do something. Surely I can be more prepared, more consistent, more...just better. right? I know a well-prepared lesson makes all the difference. But what happens when I am well-prepared and the students just want me to ALWAYS be calling their hame, want me to always stop the lesson to pay attention to them doing everything they are not supposed to? I know they are doing this because they are just waiting for me to tell them to stop. And if I ignore them they get louder, more obscene, more distracting.What happens when I have tried every method? I feel like I can't ignore them more, love them more, be more patient, be more forgiving, be more engaging, be more fun, be more mad, be more explicit. I also feel like I can't take another second to try to get the few kids not being attentive on task, when the whole class has to sit there and be affected by it. My heart breaks for the students in class who do a fabulous job of everything and yet, are punished because of the few students who just will not cooperate at all. Their learning is affected, their school day is affected, and their annoyed and frustrated. I am trying to "build relationships." I have been told mutual respect will help the problem. And it totally does...for 8 minutes. I have had personal discussions moment after moment with a number of my students. In fact, the ones I spend all day in a constant struggle with, are the ones who hug me at the end of the day, hold my hand every chance they get, and want me to play with them at recess. Bonds are forming. I feel like i have taken my text book, taken others advice, taken all the good ideas i have been shown and given and just plastered them all over my classroom. I have displayed them in my every self. I have learned so much. And I am tired...the good news is. I am not yet exhausted...maybe, just maybe, there will be a second wind..?
But first. answer me this: WHAT NOW!?
also. updates:
I am now the Middle School Volleyball coach! SWEET!
I am going to Kenai this weekend!
Wrong. I know that is wrong. I know I need to do something. Surely I can be more prepared, more consistent, more...just better. right? I know a well-prepared lesson makes all the difference. But what happens when I am well-prepared and the students just want me to ALWAYS be calling their hame, want me to always stop the lesson to pay attention to them doing everything they are not supposed to? I know they are doing this because they are just waiting for me to tell them to stop. And if I ignore them they get louder, more obscene, more distracting.What happens when I have tried every method? I feel like I can't ignore them more, love them more, be more patient, be more forgiving, be more engaging, be more fun, be more mad, be more explicit. I also feel like I can't take another second to try to get the few kids not being attentive on task, when the whole class has to sit there and be affected by it. My heart breaks for the students in class who do a fabulous job of everything and yet, are punished because of the few students who just will not cooperate at all. Their learning is affected, their school day is affected, and their annoyed and frustrated. I am trying to "build relationships." I have been told mutual respect will help the problem. And it totally does...for 8 minutes. I have had personal discussions moment after moment with a number of my students. In fact, the ones I spend all day in a constant struggle with, are the ones who hug me at the end of the day, hold my hand every chance they get, and want me to play with them at recess. Bonds are forming. I feel like i have taken my text book, taken others advice, taken all the good ideas i have been shown and given and just plastered them all over my classroom. I have displayed them in my every self. I have learned so much. And I am tired...the good news is. I am not yet exhausted...maybe, just maybe, there will be a second wind..?
But first. answer me this: WHAT NOW!?
also. updates:
I am now the Middle School Volleyball coach! SWEET!
I am going to Kenai this weekend!
Sunday, September 19, 2010
thanks God, for a super sweet September
If you take one look at my Facebook photos you will see a plethora of beach photos filled with sunshine and beautiful sunsets....YAY! This is, as I have heard, rare for September in Kotz. Generally it is rainy and overcast. But we had that my first three weeks here in August, and now it is beautiful. So I have gotten my fair share of thrilling sunshine-y events. And boredom has been put in it's place!
To start the month off me and my roommate, fellow first grade teacher, and friend took a jump off second bridge. This bridge is over the lagoon. The lagoon empties into the Chuckchi sea. And the Chuckchi sea empties into the Arctic Ocean. SO, does that count at being a member of the polar bear club...? Anywho, we jumped.
and then we were freezing..but enjoying ourselves..
Then, after our jump, we made our way down to the beach. This beach venture was my first time out. I forgot my camera. But luckily I went with my roommate, Camon, and her mom and sister and niece. Camon's mom was visiting and Camon's sister lives here in Kotzebue with her husband and daughter. We took a 4-wheeler up, roasted hot dogs, made smores, and enjoyed some beach side frisbee. Then on the 4-wheeler ride back we took a path on the beach that took us to a old sod hut. This is a house that natives lived in many, many years ago. It has since caved in and become a bit of a party spot for Kotzebue...extremely unsafe. BUT, so neat.
Then, later on the ride we went through South Tent City. This is a place just outside of town that natives sometimes go to to fish and live. Usually it is just for a portion of the year like summer. But on occasion people live here year round. There is no running water or electricity. It is a way of living a subsistence life. The tents are like wooden frames with a canvas top and wood stove in the center coming up. There are probably 25 tents or so in South Tent city. Then there is North Tent City which is the same thing. But apparently it does not really exist much anymore and there are not many tents there any longer. Many people also go to camp to fish. Camp is usually farther away and they go for weeks at a time.
But to further my current adventures. The next week I went to the beach again. This time with my roommates and a few other friends. There we found again roasted hot dogs, and marshmallows. We found moose horns. And a dead seal. And, a beautiful sunset, again.
To start the month off me and my roommate, fellow first grade teacher, and friend took a jump off second bridge. This bridge is over the lagoon. The lagoon empties into the Chuckchi sea. And the Chuckchi sea empties into the Arctic Ocean. SO, does that count at being a member of the polar bear club...? Anywho, we jumped.
Then, after our jump, we made our way down to the beach. This beach venture was my first time out. I forgot my camera. But luckily I went with my roommate, Camon, and her mom and sister and niece. Camon's mom was visiting and Camon's sister lives here in Kotzebue with her husband and daughter. We took a 4-wheeler up, roasted hot dogs, made smores, and enjoyed some beach side frisbee. Then on the 4-wheeler ride back we took a path on the beach that took us to a old sod hut. This is a house that natives lived in many, many years ago. It has since caved in and become a bit of a party spot for Kotzebue...extremely unsafe. BUT, so neat.
Then, later on the ride we went through South Tent City. This is a place just outside of town that natives sometimes go to to fish and live. Usually it is just for a portion of the year like summer. But on occasion people live here year round. There is no running water or electricity. It is a way of living a subsistence life. The tents are like wooden frames with a canvas top and wood stove in the center coming up. There are probably 25 tents or so in South Tent city. Then there is North Tent City which is the same thing. But apparently it does not really exist much anymore and there are not many tents there any longer. Many people also go to camp to fish. Camp is usually farther away and they go for weeks at a time.
But to further my current adventures. The next week I went to the beach again. This time with my roommates and a few other friends. There we found again roasted hot dogs, and marshmallows. We found moose horns. And a dead seal. And, a beautiful sunset, again.
Above are the beautiful pictures from that night. My roommates Erica and Camon and the seal, and the moose horns. The sunset was unbelievable. It always is.
This weekend we went to the beach again on Friday night. This time with the kids I live with an d a few other friends from town. We went earlier, this time with cookies instead off smores, but still gladly eating hot dogs heated with campfire. I am loving taking pictures with the kiddos, and of everything. Tons of those can be found on facebook. Their names are Skyler (4) and Fiona (6). The sunset was again, amazing. And this time we got to use a canoe to go out on the ocean with. It as so peaceful and fun. We strapped the canoe to the top of the minivan to get it there. It was awesome. No pictures though...unfortunately. :(
Then we went on an adventure to find the "Kotzebue National Forest." We went on the tundra to find it. No luck. Apparently it is between town and devil's lake. But no luck yet. In the midst of our search we got the mini van stuck in the mud. REALLY stuck. The bumper was even stuck. It was deep. We had to wait a long time for someone to come pull us out. And finally we were out.
Our next adventure begins tonight.
The northern lights are supposed to be really good tonight...but not until 2am-ish. So, despite the school night we are going to go to bed in a few minutes and get up in the middle of the night in attempt to check out the lights. It should be gorgeous. We will see if we actually get up for it.
Then on Friday. I leave for Kenai with Erica. It is marathon time...YIKES.
Wish me luck!
Monday, September 13, 2010
boredom shmoredom.
Kotzebue thus far has been relatively easy on me....OR, perhaps my sense of ease is gone. It is my first year teaching...everyone said I would cry a lot. No tears yet. But, it has certainly been a challenge... nothing I couldn't look right in the eyes and wrassle to the ground...or at least fight until we both tired and moved right along to the next challenge.
Kotzebue thus far has been exciting. Lots of new people, things, views. Lots of free time to let my mind be flooded with the thoughts I used to set aside until there was time to think. pa-lease. who has time to think in the lower 48...? no one. right. and probably no on in Alaska either, unless they just moved here and have one commitment each day, work. so, my mind is wandering. my mind is being fancy free. my feet are foot-loose too. i go and do as i please. its pretty sweet.
.......................
for a while.......
..........until the edges of boredom begin to creep in. i can feel them trying to grab at me and force me from my blissful state. i have never handled boredom like a mature, busy adult. instead, i moan about it. being bored is so dang....boring. though its nice to be free of responsibility i still can't help but wish i was begging to sit on the couch and relax..instead of actually relaxing. haha. gosh. i am so lame. and a typical american at that. i beg and beg for some free time to just relax and so i give myself the perfect recipe for relaxation...and here i am complaining of boredom.
anywho. i have made a pact. no more letting life live me. no more just sitting back and complaining that life is boring. rather, i shall make my life something thrilling. i know moving to alaska should be enough thrill for one girl for a year. but the town i moved to has two restaurants, a store, a gas station, a long road, and an ocean (which i can't go in cause its too cold to swim and i am boat-less).
but there is SO MUCH i could make of this little gem of place here in the arctic. and i shall. i will not be satisfied with simply resting for my weekend. i'll rest when i am dead. i will be a modern day explorer. and i will explore this life here in the arctic. because that has got to have more to offer than the extremely comfortable couch in the living room...right?
here is to adventure.
here is to excitment.
here is to conquering boredom.
Kotzebue thus far has been exciting. Lots of new people, things, views. Lots of free time to let my mind be flooded with the thoughts I used to set aside until there was time to think. pa-lease. who has time to think in the lower 48...? no one. right. and probably no on in Alaska either, unless they just moved here and have one commitment each day, work. so, my mind is wandering. my mind is being fancy free. my feet are foot-loose too. i go and do as i please. its pretty sweet.
.......................
for a while.......
..........until the edges of boredom begin to creep in. i can feel them trying to grab at me and force me from my blissful state. i have never handled boredom like a mature, busy adult. instead, i moan about it. being bored is so dang....boring. though its nice to be free of responsibility i still can't help but wish i was begging to sit on the couch and relax..instead of actually relaxing. haha. gosh. i am so lame. and a typical american at that. i beg and beg for some free time to just relax and so i give myself the perfect recipe for relaxation...and here i am complaining of boredom.
anywho. i have made a pact. no more letting life live me. no more just sitting back and complaining that life is boring. rather, i shall make my life something thrilling. i know moving to alaska should be enough thrill for one girl for a year. but the town i moved to has two restaurants, a store, a gas station, a long road, and an ocean (which i can't go in cause its too cold to swim and i am boat-less).
but there is SO MUCH i could make of this little gem of place here in the arctic. and i shall. i will not be satisfied with simply resting for my weekend. i'll rest when i am dead. i will be a modern day explorer. and i will explore this life here in the arctic. because that has got to have more to offer than the extremely comfortable couch in the living room...right?
here is to adventure.
here is to excitment.
here is to conquering boredom.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
one down. eight to go.
On August 7th I arrived in Kotzebue with very little in expectations and a lot in the way of fear and curiosity for the year to come. Now, September 7th, I am feeling....about the same...ha.
I have been here exactly one month. And a fast month that has been. I have learned a lot! And I think I probably have grown a lot..not the kind of growing that hurts because its too much too fast. Or the kind that makes you change who you are or where you were going. Just growth. General growth in knowledge and in strength...is that a kind of growth? Here are some things I have learned from the Arctic Circle thus far..
1. Fun is way more fun when you make it up on your own.
2. Going out on a limb doesn't have to be scary. It is sometimes fun.
3. Arctic Waters do make you catch a cold.
4. Patience truly is a virtue.
5. Running the same 8 mile loop over and over again is really boring.
6. Colorado should never take their bright sunshine for granted. Even places that are bright all day and night don't compare to those bright Colorado rays.
7. The arctic tundra changes colors in the fall also. Its not just tall trees.
8. Life really is what you make of it.
9. 1st graders are adorable in every culture.
10. You can easily be a lazy teacher...but it is not nearly as fun or rewarding to do so.
11. To be a not-lazy teacher one must work their buns off!
12. Riding on a 4 wheeler is always colder than walking- only ride if you're dressed accordingly.
13. Reindeer meet tastes good.
14.My hands are constantly swollen in humidity.
15. Dirt+ Rain= MUD, MUD, MUD!
16. Setting high expectations does not discourage- it motivates.
17. 1st graders can be annoying in every culture.
18. Laughter really is the BEST medicine.
19. When laughter doesn't work- hard work probably will.
20. Alaska is a cool place.
I am certain there is much more of Alaska and Kotzebue to take in. For now, things seem like they are starting to settle down and my life and place here is beginning to form. So far, I like it. But I miss home a lot too.
Today when I walked to school there was no sunrise like usual. Instead it was dark. And the street lights guided me.
I have a lllloooooooooonnnnnggggg and ddddddaaaaaaarrrrrrrkkkkkk winter ahead of me.
I have been here exactly one month. And a fast month that has been. I have learned a lot! And I think I probably have grown a lot..not the kind of growing that hurts because its too much too fast. Or the kind that makes you change who you are or where you were going. Just growth. General growth in knowledge and in strength...is that a kind of growth? Here are some things I have learned from the Arctic Circle thus far..
1. Fun is way more fun when you make it up on your own.
2. Going out on a limb doesn't have to be scary. It is sometimes fun.
3. Arctic Waters do make you catch a cold.
4. Patience truly is a virtue.
5. Running the same 8 mile loop over and over again is really boring.
6. Colorado should never take their bright sunshine for granted. Even places that are bright all day and night don't compare to those bright Colorado rays.
7. The arctic tundra changes colors in the fall also. Its not just tall trees.
8. Life really is what you make of it.
9. 1st graders are adorable in every culture.
10. You can easily be a lazy teacher...but it is not nearly as fun or rewarding to do so.
11. To be a not-lazy teacher one must work their buns off!
12. Riding on a 4 wheeler is always colder than walking- only ride if you're dressed accordingly.
13. Reindeer meet tastes good.
14.My hands are constantly swollen in humidity.
15. Dirt+ Rain= MUD, MUD, MUD!
16. Setting high expectations does not discourage- it motivates.
17. 1st graders can be annoying in every culture.
18. Laughter really is the BEST medicine.
19. When laughter doesn't work- hard work probably will.
20. Alaska is a cool place.
I am certain there is much more of Alaska and Kotzebue to take in. For now, things seem like they are starting to settle down and my life and place here is beginning to form. So far, I like it. But I miss home a lot too.
Today when I walked to school there was no sunrise like usual. Instead it was dark. And the street lights guided me.
I have a lllloooooooooonnnnnggggg and ddddddaaaaaaarrrrrrrkkkkkk winter ahead of me.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
lice.
Today started a day unlike any other.
don't get too excited on the juicy details. i don't have lice.
BUT we started our day in school today by putting every students belongings in a trash bag to be hung on their hooks. and we will begin every day this will until may 7.
there has been no break out of lice yet....in my classroom. but there will be (so i hear). its quite the problem here. when i was in elementary school we had everyone checked and went through the steps to ensure everyone was lice free.. here, everyone bags their items. and prepares for the lice ahead of them. which apparently is quite the load. i have heard i will "see them jumping." the kids wear fur. its part of life here. and the lice will live in that fur. and jump from fur to fur.
intense.
don't get too excited on the juicy details. i don't have lice.
BUT we started our day in school today by putting every students belongings in a trash bag to be hung on their hooks. and we will begin every day this will until may 7.
there has been no break out of lice yet....in my classroom. but there will be (so i hear). its quite the problem here. when i was in elementary school we had everyone checked and went through the steps to ensure everyone was lice free.. here, everyone bags their items. and prepares for the lice ahead of them. which apparently is quite the load. i have heard i will "see them jumping." the kids wear fur. its part of life here. and the lice will live in that fur. and jump from fur to fur.
intense.
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