As most of you can either read in this blog or assume, because it is the Arctic, Kotzebue is really cold. We have been in a constant state of winter since October...and I won't see anything but winter and fur hats until the day I leave here. Needless to say, I am a little bit tired of snow, and extremely tired of bundling up to step outside.
Along with ridiculously cold outside for what seems like an endless amount of time, Kotzebue is also 500 miles from the city. That is code for really expensive food. Our grocery store, if fully stocked, proudly displays its $10 gallons of milk, $1single bananas, and $11 bags of grapes. However, a box of Shells and Cheese, made by none other than Velveeta, rings up at only around $3 a box. Even if you splurge and buy all healthy items...they are half-way to rotten the day you take them home thanks the the few day trek it took them to get up here....SO, eating healthy can be less than thrilling in taste, and empty your wallet fast.
So what do most of us do? Sit inside, eat junk, and gain weight. And, we are hiding away in the Arctic...so it is easy to justify such an act. After all, not a sole will find me here.
The truth: I am venturing south in less than 3 months. It will be swim suit season, and more importantly wedding season- my wedding season. SOOOO..weight gain at this point is less than preferred.
With healthy snacks tricky to obtain at all times for a reasonable cost, exercise is a must- but how does one exercise when it is below zero outside? Well, there is the tredmill and the eliptical that I can get my hands on after school if I find someone with a key to the room to let me in...and if I don't, or its the weekend...its workout video time!
Now, don't get me wrong, workout videos have been a great invention- they have helped many people reach their goals when say, they can't get to a gym, and its too cold to exercise outside. But month after month of Jillian Michaels telling you how badass she is can bring a person to anger in seconds. If I hear Jillian tell me one more time that SHE, not me, SHE is shredding my glutes as she stands there on the screen in a bra and yoga pants while I jump up and down sweating to death in my living room- I am gonna lose it.
This new found resentment of working out in my living room or classroom cannot all be blamed on entirely for Jillian Michaels- after all I (yes I) have begun to shred those glues, but anyone ever so much as heard the voice of the P90X guy? On the upside of things, he does entertain the idea of it being YOU actually doing the work, not HIM. But the man can't count he says 1,2....3,4...5, as though you take a break between 2 and 3 and 4 and 5..and Mister, I am not a "kid" so stop referring to me as one.
So, what I am asking for, is a specially designed Arctic workout video. This video will hold all the right elements..a normal looking human being who did not eat apples for an entire day before shooting the video half naked. It would cast normal people struggling through the workout, wearing clothes, and looking as miserable as I usually feel. It would also include a less than cocky leading individual who would tell you how to do the workout, and turn up the tunes loud and fast to pump you up during each routine. And not once will anyone say "I am watching you," because everyone knows you can't possibly see me through the TV screen on the tape you shot over a year ago. I will watch myself thank you. If I have the stamina to move my kids desks everyday and go through the motions of this workout while the janitors come in and out changing the trash in my classroom, certainly I can be trusted to do the workout without you "watching me."
To those of you with a warm sun to melt your snow and warm the air- USE IT! :)
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